Hey, Goddess? It's Me, Edward!
by Nate Grey
Summary: Ed (and Ein) search for the missing half of her family.
1. Homemade Memories

Note: From the moment she first mentioned them abandoning her, I wondered who Ed's parents were. Then I saw her father in "Hard Luck Woman," and it got me to thinking. So, here's what I thunk…uh…thought. I kinda stole the title from an old Judy Blume (I think it was hers, anyway) book called "You There, God? It's Me, Margaret."  
  
Summary: Ed (and Ein) search for the missing half of her family.  
  
  
  
Hey, Goddess? It's Me, Edward!  
  
  
  
Chapter 1: Homemade Memories  
  
"You got it, Macintosh?!"  
  
"Yeah! And it's Macintyre!"  
  
"Whatever!"  
  
The big man known as Applederry to his young assistant and "that big crazy guy" to others stood up and wiped some sweat from his forehead. Mapmaking was a lot harder than most people thought…especially when you updated every five to ten minutes. It was a thankless job, an endless job, and a non- paying job (and therefore not really a job).  
  
Not that it ever stopped them, though.  
  
He turned, spotting a falling meteor in the distance. "There's another one! C'mon, Mackenzie!" he shouted, sprinting over to the van.  
  
"It's Macintyre!!!" his assistant shouted back, diving onto the roof of the van.  
  
Applederry jammed his boot down on the accelerator and took off, heading for the still-smoking hole that was just beyond his line of sight. He drove over a ridge and slammed on the brakes, not because he'd nearly hit something or drove off a cliff, but because he could hardly believe his eyes. He didn't even notice when his young assistant when flying off the roof and tumbled to the ground.  
  
Sitting next to the crater, laptop in hand and goggles donned, was his kid.  
  
Ignoring the moans of pain from his assistant (who was most likely broken in half, and that's if he was lucky), Applederry broke into a wide grin as he climbed out of the van. "Francois!" he called in his loud voice.  
  
It took a moment longer than he expected, but the child looked up and broke into a similar (but much more practiced and MUCH wider) grin. "Papa- person!" She leaped up as fluidly as a tiger might and ran at him, her bare feet hardly touching the ground.  
  
Applederry caught her as she dove into his arms, laughing like mad and squeezing so hard he thought her arms might burst from the strain. "Back so soon?" he asked when she calmed down a bit. "Thought you'd be heading out with those two guys you were with."  
  
She shook her head and smiled. "They were okay, but Ed wanted to be with you."  
  
"Ed, huh?" He tousled her wild hair roughly. "Guess it's good enough for me if you'll answer to it."  
  
There was a bark from seemingly nowhere, and then a little dog came running around the van, stopping at Ed's feet.  
  
She bent down and picked him up. "Meet Ein!" she said, holding him up.  
  
Applederry patted the dog's head. "He yours?"  
  
She shrugged. "Ein is Ein's. But he's with Ed for now, just like Ed is with you for now."  
  
"Fair enough."  
  
Macintyre grunted quietly as he crawled towards them. "Mr. Applederry, sir! Don't…forget…the maps…" He moaned and fainted.  
  
Applederry slapped his forehead. "I almost forgot!"  
  
Ed grinned and held up her laptop proudly. "Already got it, Papa-person!"  
  
Applederry blinked and stared at the screen. Sure enough, she'd gotten all the data on the crash site. "Well, how about that? She's faster than you, Mackenzie!"  
  
Macintyre, still being unconscious, didn't reply.  
  
"Well, Fran—er, Ed—welcome aboard!" Applederry patted Ed's head, nearly knocking her over in the process, but she didn't seem to mind at all.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Macintyre woke up with his right arm in a sling and a huge bump on top of his head. Thankfully, the former didn't hurt too much, and the latter was covered by an icepack.  
  
His watch told him it was just after ten, which meant Mr. Applederry would be getting dinner ready. If he was lucky, it'd be vegetables. If he wasn't, it'd be tofu. Applederry was a huge health nut, and Macintyre himself was a vegetarian, but even he wouldn't touch some of the things his employer ate.  
  
So Macintyre was pleasantly surprised to find that they weren't having either.  
  
"Mushrooms?" he asked as he sat down at the table.  
  
"That's right," Applederry said from the stove. "Ed brought a bunch in her bag, and there's no sense in wasting them."  
  
Ed was already gobbling down as many mushrooms as she could fit in her mouth at once, so Macintyre quickly scooped some onto his plate. They turned out to have a very exotic taste, and were quite delicious. Even Ein ate a few before he came down with what seemed to be a unique case of hiccups.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Now that he only had the use of one arm, Macintyre was forced to stay inside the van while Applederry and Ed did all the map work. It was just as well, since Ed worked a lot faster and more accurately than Macintyre did on his best days. Pretty soon, she was even doing most of the cooking and the laundry as well. That left Macintyre with absolutely nothing to do…except play with Ein, who never really seemed to get tired. He was a lot like Ed in that respect.  
  
All went fine for about two months, when Macintyre could no longer contain his curiosity. So one night, when Applederry had insisted on cooking (and wrestled a frying pan away from Ed in the process), he went over to where Ed was trying to teach Ein to walk on his hind legs.  
  
"Ed, I was wondering…do you know whatever happened to your mother?" Macintyre asked quietly, so that Applederry wouldn't overhear him.  
  
Ed paused and looked up at him. "Ed isn't sure," she said after a long moment. "Ed never asked."  
  
"Well, maybe you should. You seem like a nice kid and all, but don't you ever wonder where you came from?"  
  
Ed nodded. "That's why Ed came to stay with Papa."  
  
"It's just that I've been his assistant for almost five years now, and he's never mentioned her. He's only mentioned you once or twice, but he was usually talking in his sleep. I kept wondering who Francois was…"  
  
Ed wandered over to the stove and tugged on her father's arm. "Papa, do you remember Mama at all?"  
  
Applederry froze as if someone had fired a gun right next to his ear.  
  
"Papa?" Ed asked quietly, looking worried.  
  
The big man sighed wistfully and sat down. "Something told me this day would come, when you'd want to know more about her. I promised myself I'd be a man about it, and that I wouldn't shed a single tear…"  
  
Ed climbed into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Why would you cry about Mama?"  
  
"Oh, it's not her I'd be crying about," he muttered, tousling her hair. "It's you. The moment you learn more about her, you'll want to run off with Ein and find her."  
  
"You could come, too," Ed offered.  
  
Applederry shook his head. "No, Francois. My place is here, making maps. Your mother and I parted for a good reason, and I have to respect it. She wouldn't want me to come looking for her. You, though, I think she'd be more than happy to see again."  
  
"What was she like?"  
  
He smiled and chuckled softly. "Like an angel, but shorter. Lot like you, really. Small and thin, but pretty and powerful. Had a mind on her, that woman. Smartest person I ever met. Guess I was lucky to have her as long as I did."  
  
"You're smart, too, Papa," Ed protested, but he shushed her.  
  
"You don't know smart until you've seen her, Ed. Oh, I can fool the average fellow, but her…she was in a class by herself. Eyes like emeralds, and never looked a day over 20 the whole time I knew her."  
  
"She was really pretty, then?" Ed asked excitedly.  
  
"Beautiful. The Earth wasn't made good enough for that woman."  
  
"Is that why she left?"  
  
He shook his head. "No, not at all. She left because she was happy."  
  
Ed frowned. "But…"  
  
"I don't really understand it myself, Francois. But I guess her mind was too far beyond my own. All I remember is the last thing she said to me. 'All my life, I've searched for the perfection I'd lost. At last, I've rediscovered it here with you and our Francois, dear. It's perfect…so perfect…too perfect. And I'm not worthy of it any longer.' Just like that, she was gone."  
  
"Then…is that why you left me, Papa?" Ed asked.  
  
"You've got it all wrong, Francois. I left you because your mother told me to. There's one thing she always told me, each and every day after you'd been born: 'The greatest minds are the ones that learn to think for themselves. I want our little Francois to be the greatest.' She kept saying that any kid could learn something from a book or a teacher, but her kid was gonna learn from life. And you did, didn't you? Smart as a whip, too, just like she was."  
  
"You mean she wanted me to turn out this way?"  
  
Applederry chuckled and shook his head. "No. I'm saying she knew you would."  
  
Macintyre started to ask how that was possible, then decided it was better not to interrupt.  
  
"Then…Mama wants to see me?" Ed asked quietly.  
  
"She will see you," he replied. "Sooner or later. When you're ready to go to her, just let me know. I'll point you in the right direction, and then it'll be up to you and Ein."  
  
"But don't you need me here, Papa?"  
  
Applederry smiled. "I want you here, Ed. But I managed to do this job before you got here, and I'll manage when you leave. Won't be the same without you, but we'll make it work."  
  
* * * * *  
  
It was another month before Ed decided to go. Macintyre's arm had healed up enough where he could work and do his chores again, and Ed's supply of mushrooms was running out.  
  
There was some debate about how she'd get anywhere, though. Macintyre thought it would be a good idea to contact the Bebop, but Applederry outright refused to. He said that they had their own lives and that it wasn't their right to intrude on it.  
  
Finally, Macintyre agreed to let Ed borrow his old scooter. It didn't look like much, but once Ed had attached a working motor to, it would do about 85 mph when she floored it.  
  
On the day that Ed was to leave, Macintyre stuffed her bag with enough food to last about three weeks, if she was careful. The only other things she planned on taking were her computer equipment and Ein.  
  
"Now, remember, Ed," Applederry told her. "Just because you're looking for one parent doesn't mean you have to forget about the other. You need anything, you just let me know, okay?"  
  
Ed stood up straight and saluted him. "Yes, sir!"  
  
He smiled and ruffled her hair. "I'm proud of you, son."  
  
"Daughter!" Macintyre hissed under his breath.  
  
But Ed only grinned and leaped into her father's arms. "Bye, Papa," she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I'll tell you Mama you miss her."  
  
"You do that." He watched her place Ein in her backpack and hop on the scooter. "So long, Francois."  
  
The scooter roared to life and zoomed away. Ed glanced over her shoulder and waved with one hand. "BYE, PAPA! BYE, MACKAROO!"  
  
"MACINTYRE!" Macintyre sighed. "Ah, close enough. I'm gonna miss that kid."  
  
"So am I, Macrane," Applederry whispered. "C'mon, let's get back to work." 


	2. Scenes from a Bar

Chapter 2: Scenes from a Bar  
  
Faye Valentine stared into the glass until she couldn't tell where it ended and the bar top began. Of course, the five beers she'd had helped a lot. Not that she'd been counting in the first place.  
  
The bartender, however, had been, and when Faye asked for another, he told her so. "Lady, I think you've had enough."  
  
Faye glared at him, and for a few moments, she was surprisingly coherent. "Look, pal. The closest thing I had to a boyfriend just bought the farm for no good reason, and I've got the money! I think I'm entitled to another beer!"  
  
"Get it somewhere else. I'm not giving you anything else to drink."  
  
"Then put it on my tab," said a quiet voice behind them.  
  
The bartender went pale. "Yes, sir!" He quickly gave Faye a beer and vanished into the back room.  
  
Faye turned around to see someone dressed in a dark blue cloak with a hood that concealed his or her face. "Thanks for the drink, buddy, but if you're looking for something in return, you won't find it."  
  
The person raised their head. "You flatter yourself. I'm not that kind of woman."  
  
Faye's eyes widened. "You're a woman?!"  
  
The crimson eyes beneath the hood narrowed slightly. "You really ARE drunk. Maybe you didn't need that beer."  
  
"Why'd you buy it in the first place?" Faye asked.  
  
"Because there's no point in starting a fight if there's no bounty or honor at stake."  
  
"And what makes you think I'm a bounty hunter?"  
  
"Only two kinds of people come here, and since you're not dead or chained to some guy's wrist, you can't be a bounty."  
  
Faye smirked and took a sip of her beer. "So what do they call you, stranger?"  
  
"I wouldn't know. No one I've been after has ever lived long enough to call me much of anything. Well, except one…"  
  
"And I'm guessing whatever they called you wouldn't make much of a name."  
  
"Not really." The woman sat down on a nearby barstool. "Anyway, you won't know me long enough to need my name. Soon as the bartender comes back with my order, I'll be gone."  
  
Faye frowned. "But you didn't order anything."  
  
"Didn't have to. He knows what I came for."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Ed pressed her face against the glass, staring at all the yummy treats on the other side. Cakes, tarts, doughnuts; some with icing, cream cheese, sprinkles, some without. Ed wasn't hungry, but she was still a child, after all. It was as natural as playing with Ein to her. She wished the baker hadn't made her leave him outside. She decided to get him a little treat to make up for it.  
  
It was then that she first noticed the other girl.  
  
She was also staring, her small hands and brown face pressed against the glass. She wore a fluffy pink bonnet on her head, her tresses of dark brown and white escaping in two neat locks on either side of her face. Her large, amber, almost catlike eyes were fixed solely upon a large, delicious looking slice of carrot cake with white frosting. Ed recalled that her own eyes were a similar color, and decided to make some friendly conversation.  
  
"Ed likes red velvet the best," she said matter-of-factly. "What about you?"  
  
The girl looked at her for a moment, then longingly back at the carrot cake.  
  
"Oh, Ed sees. Ed likes carrot, too."  
  
The girl made a quiet whining noise in her throat, almost sounding like a cat.  
  
"Don't be sad. Ed can buy it for you, if you want."  
  
The girl's mouth watered at the thought, but she quickly shook her head.  
  
"It's okay. Ed has money!" And before the girl could protest again, Ed was paying for the hunk of carrot cake, easily big enough for the both of them. "See? Doesn't it look good?" She held out the slice, waving it in front of the girl's face.  
  
The girl's eyes followed the slice as it moved, and then she grabbed it. But remembering her manners, she broke it in half and handed a piece back to Ed. Ed tore into her piece with reckless abandon, while the girl ate hers slowly, savoring each bite.  
  
Their peaceful moment was suddenly interrupted when Ein began to bark.  
  
Ed ran outside of the shop, only to find Ein cornering a small, furry animal that seemed to be a rabbit…from a distance, anyway. But as Ed got closer, she decided it was more like a chipmunk with big ears and feet and whiskers. "What is it, Ein?" she asked, leaning down for a better look.  
  
The animal bared its tiny teeth and hissed, the hairs standing on end all over its white body. Its crimson eyes narrowed in anger, and the tiny yellow jewel set in its forehead seemed to gleam in the sunlight.  
  
Then Ed noticed a blue collar on it. "Hey, this must belong to somebody!"  
  
Without warning, the girl from the bakery suddenly swooped down and scooped up the white creature before hurrying down the street.  
  
Ein barked loudly and raced after her, determined not to let his prey escape.  
  
"Ein, stop!" Ed shouted, following at a run. "Ed has cake!"  
  
But Ein didn't stop until the girl finally tripped and fell. Ed caught him by the collar and pulled him away.  
  
"Sorry! Ein doesn't usually act like this. Are you okay?" Ed realized that the girl's bonnet had fallen off. A large amount of brown and white hair spilled down her back, and there was a red gem at the top of her forehead.  
  
The girl stared at Ed uncertainly for a moment, then turned her attention to the white creature still hissing in her arms. She stroked its head gently and rubbed it against her cheek, smiling as it calmed down and became silent.  
  
"Is he yours?" Ed asked quietly.  
  
The girl nodded, placing the white creature on her head, where it nestled down in her bushy hair. She carefully stood up and brushed off her dress.  
  
"So there you are," said a voice behind them. "I've been looking for you two."  
  
Ed looked up to see a woman wearing a long, dark blue cloak. "You were looking for Ed?"  
  
The woman blinked. "No, these two," she said, gesturing at the girl and her pet. "They're with me."  
  
The girl ran up to the woman and made some wild gestures with her hands.  
  
"Oh yeah. Her name's Ryo," the woman said. "She doesn't talk, but I guess you knew that."  
  
"Ed is Ed," Ed replied with a huge grin. "And Ein is Ein."  
  
Ein barked and trotted over to the girl, sniffing at her feet.  
  
"Smart dog," the woman muttered, then turned to Ed again. "So what are you two doing in a place like this?"  
  
"Looking for Mama-person," Ed answered, pulling Ein away from Ryo again.  
  
"Strange place to be doing that in. You plan on staying here?"  
  
Ed shook her head. "Mama-person is far, FAR AWAAAAAAY! Ed & Ein are just passing through. Right, Ein?"  
  
Ein barked and licked Ed's hand.  
  
"Really smart dog," the woman said. "Well, look. Ryo and I have to make a stop, but after that, we can take you anywhere you want. Interested?"  
  
"Ed will go! Ein will, too! But where is your spaceship?"  
  
"Oh, it's here." The woman prodded the white creature in Ryo's hair with a finger. "Hey, you. Wake up. Time to go."  
  
The white creature yowled and leaped into the air.  
  
Ed's eyes widened as the huge shadow fell over them. "Ein can't do THAT."  
  
Ein whined and hid between Ed's legs.  
  
The woman smirked. "Four going up, Ken-ohki. And take it easy on the mutt."  
  
Just after they vanished from sight, Faye stuck her head out of the bar. "Oh, great! Now I'm starting to hear Ed & Ein everywhere I go! I need another drink…" 


	3. Cabbits & Carrots

Chapter 3: Cabbits & Carrots  
  
  
  
Ed had never seen anything like the inside of Ken-ohki. She especially liked the floating crystals that kept sneaking up behind her and making funny faces. Ein didn't seem to care for them as much, as they kept snapping at where his tail would've been.  
  
The woman hadn't said anything to Ed the whole time, and when she did speak, it was either to one of the floating crystals or to Ryo.  
  
Ryo was much friendlier, now that Ein wasn't barking at her like mad. As the woman had explained, she couldn't talk, but she was usually able to make Ed understand what she meant with body language. She was always gesturing with her small hands, or making catlike mews that were adorable, once Ed got used to them. Each mew seemed to have a certain meaning, and Ed was quickly starting to pick up on them. Ed even used them herself at times, just to make Ryo feel comfortable, or when she had a question for Ken-ohki.  
  
Ed couldn't be sure how long they traveled. Ken-ohki didn't seem to understand human concepts of time, but was very knowledgeable on cycles (which didn't help at all). Ryo took frequent naps whenever she wanted to, so Ed went to bed when she did. The woman never seemed to sleep, and never left the pilot's seat, either. Ed suspected that she might be stuck there, but was too embarrassed to admit it.  
  
After what seemed like a whole week, the woman suddenly announced, "All right, girls. This is where we get off."  
  
Ed followed Ryo out of the ship, only to find herself in what appeared to be a dark hallway. The only source of light was the metallic glow from Ken- Ohki.  
  
"Ryo, take Ed to your room," the woman instructed. "I've got some business to take care of with the boss."  
  
Ryo mewed loudly (which Ed assumed meant "Okay!"), but stayed where she was.  
  
Suddenly, the hallway was plunged into complete darkness, and Ein let out a worried whine.  
  
Ed felt the little dog brushing against her feet and bent down to pick him up. "Don't be scared of the dark, Ein. You're a dog, not a chicken." She glanced around, hoping to catch a glimpse of Ryo's eyes.  
  
Ein let out another whine as a red light blinded them for a few seconds. When Ed's eyes adjusted, she could see that it was coming from the jewel on Ryo's forehead. Ken-Ohki was back in her hair, snoring softly. He looked exhausted from their long trip.  
  
Ryo motioned for Ed to follow and started down the hallway.  
  
"You live in the dark?" Ed asked after a moment.  
  
Ryo shook her head and pointed.  
  
Ed then caught sight of a large, orange letter C at what appeared to be the end of the hallway. "That's your room?"  
  
Ryo nodded and walked up to the C, placing her hand on it. The C turned brown and made a sound not unlike one of Ryo's mews.  
  
Ed's stomach seemed to flips for exactly five seconds, and then she realized they were no longer in the hallway.  
  
They stood in the center of a small room that was absolutely covered in carrots.  
  
Ed saw right away that most of the carrots weren't real. There were carrot posters on the walls, carrot chairs, a carrot table, and even a giant, squishy carrot cushion that doubled as a bed.  
  
Not that there weren't real carrots scattered all around the room, anyway.  
  
"You must REALLY like carrots," Ed said after a moment.  
  
Ryo picked up two carrots, offering the bigger one to Ed.  
  
Ed munched on hers absently while she continued to look around the room. "Don't you have any toys?" she asked.  
  
Ryo nodded and walked over to a tiny cupboard in the corner.  
  
"That's IT?"  
  
Ryo grinned and opened the cupboard.  
  
Ed barely had time to dodge aside as a mountain of stuffed animals and dolls poured from the tiny cupboard, covering most of the room in an instant. She had the good sense to grab Ein before he, too, got swept away.  
  
"How did you do that?" Ed asked in dazed voice.  
  
Ryo launched into a long series of mews that Ed didn't quite understand. She caught the words "genius" and "space" and "invention," but the rest went over her head.  
  
"So…you know a genius?"  
  
Ryo beamed and nodded.  
  
"Could I meet him…or her…or it?"  
  
Ryo hesitated, then offered Ed one of her dolls.  
  
"Are you trying to change the subject?" Ed demanded.  
  
Ryo pretended not to hear her and leaned down to pet Ein.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Hey, boss?" the woman called into the dark room. "You in here?"  
  
"No," replied a voice.  
  
The woman's eyes narrowed. "Ryoko."  
  
"Yeah?" Ryoko asked, appearing in front of her.  
  
"Where is she?"  
  
"Busy. Doesn't want to be disturbed." Ryoko's lips twitched, a feral grin appearing on her face. "Bet I can keep YOU busy, Nagi…"  
  
Nagi frowned. "Later. I need to see the boss. It's important."  
  
"How important?"  
  
"Can you remember the last time I passed up a chance to trash you?"  
  
Ryoko smirked. "Not really."  
  
"Well, that's how important it is. Now get out of my way."  
  
"Make me," Ryoko teased, her grin growing wider.  
  
"Fine." Nagi drew her sword. "Just remember that you asked for it."  
  
"I'll be sure to remind you of that, if you ever come out of the coma." A bright red beam of light appeared in Ryoko's hand. "Oh, and one more thing."  
  
"What?"  
  
Ryoko suddenly split into two, each of her wielding a light saber. "Gotcha!" both women shouted, diving straight at Nagi.  
  
"Enough, girls," a voice in both their heads said. "Ryoko, let Nagi pass. We have…things to discuss."  
  
"You got lucky," Ryoko muttered, both of her fading from sight.  
  
A small, circular platform appeared in front of Nagi, and she stepped onto it. The room spun wildly for a moment, then came into focus. The fact that she was now in another dimension was hardly interesting to Nagi anymore. She stepped down from the platform and approached the entity in front of her, which was sitting on a floating cushion of sorts.  
  
"I found her," Nagi reported. "She was right were you said she'd be."  
  
"Of course," the being replied, not turning around.  
  
"She seems a little…odd."  
  
"What were you expecting?"  
  
"I don't really know," Nagi admitted. "But she can understand Ryo-Ohki and Ken-Ohki. She even talks like them at times."  
  
"Ed is a very gifted child, Nagi. You should expect great things from her. What you've seen so far…is nothing."  
  
"Don't you want to see her?"  
  
The being laughed softly. "I've already seen her. But yes, I would like to meet her. Not yet, though. Tomorrow. After she's had a chance to speak to her father. You'll arrange it, won't you?"  
  
"Yeah, boss, I can handle it."  
  
"Wonderful. Excellent work as usual, Nagi. You are a treasure, no matter what Ryoko seems to think."  
  
Nagi grunted. "I never put much stock in what Ryoko thinks."  
  
"I suppose you wouldn't." The being paused. "Look in on the girls, would you? I don't want Ryo-Ohki to let anything slip. She means well, but you know…"  
  
"Yeah. I know." 


End file.
